Thursday, October 22, 2009

Things I learned from my aunt

I know when I post things here it auto sends to my Facebook account so, Amina if you're reading this and have not been to your mother's grave you may not want to read further. Your mom was a very special person and I loved her very much. I love you too!!

My Aunt Peggy passed away on August 15, 1998. She died from lung cancer but never smoked. Those of you out there who smoke around your kids, well my grandfather smoked like a train around Peggy until he passed away when she was a pre-teen. The doctors think that had something to do with it. She died way too young and left me with many unintended lessons. Like, you really should use your good china any day you feel like using and even if you have children. She had 5 kids and was saving her china for the time when the kids were older and it wouldn't get broken. That day never came. She didn't know how to play the piano but she saw one she wanted and her husband bought it for her. She always laughed even when she had cancer. After surgery and chemo she , of course, lost her hair. Without her wig she made fun of herself. She picked out a wig that she liked and the style name was "Violet". She didn't always wear her wig because it itched but when she wore it she became Vaahlut, the southun' belle. She'd slip into a different walk and talk when she put it on. Except while walking down the aisle at my wedding. My wedding day was on her birthday and that's how she spent her last one. Doing something for me. I wanted to remember her birthday in song at the reception but amidst the turmoil of the day, I forgot. How could I have forgotten? But I did. She died nine months later, just days after her youngest turned eight.
I think I miss her at Easter most because of how fun she made it. We always had a hunt for the adults too and she would run you over to get to the candy first! Always in good fun and it's such a special memory. Even with that many kids and stresses she found time to do things she enjoyed. She learned how to decorate cakes and started crafting. She liked to decorate her house and she had an appreciation for pretty things. I loved shopping with her and wish we could have done it more. One of the most special times I had with her were my lunch breaks from one of my first jobs. I worked at Mr. T.V.Video, just a few miles from her house , while I did my two week training for a different store. She had me to her house for those lunch breaks and I had her all to myself. She had a stash of sweet treats she hid from the kids because if they found it she'd never get any but.....sshhhhh.......she shared with me! She could not eat a burrito without the thing falling apart and turning into the messiest thing you've ever seen. But she always laughed at herself!! And she could always make people laugh with the most mundane circumstances! She was amazing.

I was feeling kind of down one day a couple of months ago and stopped by her grave. Drawn there my God I'm sure! In reading her headstone I was reminded of a funny story. Soon after she passed away I visited her grave and it had on it a verse, "God is love, and she that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in her. John 4:16 The Bible says "he" or "one" but they made it "she" referring to Aunt Peggy of course. A few days later a girlfriend at work was feeling down because she didn't have a boyfriend and felt her time was running out. Knowing she had a heart for God I passed on to her an encouraging card and wrote in it John 4:16. I couldn't remember all the words exactly and I knew she kept a Bible at work so I just wrote the scripture reference. I went back to my work station and wanted to try to memorize the verse so later in the day when business slowed down I looked up John 4:16 and read each word very slowly in horror........"He said to her,"Go call your husband." Even in death, unitentionally, my Aunt Peggy made someone laugh. After I explained the mistake, my friend said the laugh made her feel better even though the original verse was encouraging! Remembering that story lifted my spirits. So it wasn't a feeling that I was close to her or anything like that that made me feel better, because I didn't feel that. The fact the she could make so many people happy and the memory of making a woman who was sad over being manless by uplifting her with the wrong Bible verse, that was my aunt. That lifted my spirits. Aunt Peggy is in heaven! She's not in that grave, oh, her body is but she isn't!! She's laughing and having a good time in heaven! That lifted my spirits too. I always knew my aunt loved me, truly loved me. And I think that's why God led me there. I wish she could've met my boys but if I can teach them what she taught me then she's still made a difference in their lives. Look up!!
Oh, and the verse on her headstone should be referenced as 1 John 4:16

1 comment:

  1. Thanks Stacey. I needed this post. I don't remember a lot about aunt Peggy and I think it is sad. I wish I could have visited family down there more when I was growing up, but life isn't fair. I SO believe in using the Fine China everyday, because everyday with family should be a celebration. Family should be treated Better than company in my opinion. Anyway Great post.